Sunday Bloody Sunday-U2

The other night I got a text message sayin

“O-ve blood needed urgently for 2 year old baby for open-heart surgery ...Pls contact for details…”

My memories flashed b4 my eyes to the scene in 12^th grade when I had pierced my own finger for a bloody swab of blood in Biology class where we were supposed to test our blood… After the icy needle slit a wide opening in my hands and a drop of blood emerged, it was supposed to be muddled with chemicals X and A…and with all the good things that make Powerpuff girls put into and yali-yadi-yada that drop failed to clot, meaning I was O-ve. The Bio teacher squelched at the sight and ended up giving me disgusting mirthful smirks…Upon my inquisitive look as if trying to tell her sayin “Get a grip gal!” she clarified in her squeaky non-baritone voice,

“Child you are blood group O-ve, meaning your blood group is the rarest in the world coming out to be 1 in 10,000…So in case you are a rash driver, better start lookin cse I guess ull be needing it, and oh! One more thing, Only an O-ve can donate blood to another of its species, so remove the attitude that you don’t care as fast as you can” her voice trailed off…I looked around and asked if anyone else is O-ve as if in a pleading sort of way, but all in vain. I was the only one in my class of 80. Harsh but true. Memories trailing off, I said, I can do something.

The next very day itself I went to get my blood tested in the nearby medico center. Ok I am sorry, I don’t know my blood group for sure but hey, I have never found the need to get it checked and of course, you cannot trust what you do in Bio pracs. So I went to this swank place and said I wanted my blood group tested. The receptionist counter questioned “ Do you want a blood group test with Rh factor coupled with Haemoglobin or WBC count or RBC count or just a plain blood group test? “ Her inquisitive smile tricked me into going for a complete blood examination costing this exchequer a whopping 300 bucks.

I was ushered into my seat in a corner cabin whose air-conditioning unit was working overtime to make sure that patients feel this added chill coupled with the feeling of having a needle pierced without anesthetics. There was a girl, a good lookin one (very hot!) (( sorry for my pervert ness but what to do? I act hysterical when I am tensed)) in the seat next to me. The nurse emerged from behind closed doors with a needle so huge that an entire tank of fluid will fit into it, and asked me whether I would like to go first. I had a horrific image in my flash memory of Saddam Hussein being ushered into the noose…I shuddered and asked for a couple of minutes… the girl in the nearby seat agreed to go for it first and an instant wave of shamefulness swept over me.

I looked the other side trying to avoid the site of the goat being rubbed with Iodine before it was sacrificed…Mercy! In an instant I heard an ear-piercing scream and my agent-like reflexes made me look at what was going on…And I saw, I saw the 2’’ needle halfway down and the nurse’s tired eyes strained trying to find the right nerve…It was a horrific sight and so much the less for me than for her because she was staring right at the needle as if to control its shiver rather than looking away to somewhere else…The proverb proved right(is it even a proverb?) “ Beauty and brains never go together” Amidst all the din the needle came out with its syringe compartment filled to 3/4^th which I guess was more than what a 2 year old malnourished African baby will have in his entire body. The girl ended up crying hysterically. Made me ask myself, what is the girl testing the blood for?

I didn’t have time to think further as the nurse came back after centrifuging the girls sample with a fresh needle. She didn’t waste much time in rolling up my sleeve and shot a quick question to me as she carried forward, “Is there any specific reason why you are doing this test?” I cross questioned my conscience with the same question, do I really need to do this? I didn’t have time to reply as the needle tip emerged out of my skin after conquering its explorations underneath my skin. I say that was fast! I held my nerve to avoid congratulating her for her nice work and just gave a quick nod.

I slept weakened like a wounded soldier from his battle-field after coming home. I didn’t waste a second to go and collect my report as soon as possible… worried that the doc might come up wid some other conclusions ;) I snatched the file from the receptionist and confirmed, I was O-ve. I said to myself “OK, calm down now, act like who you are, act like Bond, act cool” so I called up the number thinking I won’t spend the babies precious seconds. The call ended up with 2 beeps and cut short. I redialed and this time was greeted with a never ending succession of beeps. I waited patiently till a cool voice said “This number is temporarily out of service.” I dialed and redialed again and again. All in vain. My head went into a tizzy trying to recollect all that had happened in the last few hours. ‘Keith Urban-Raining on Sunday’ played in the background. NS Sidhu screamed at the back of my head “If ifs and ands were pots and pans, ……………there would be no tinkers “. -'Blood lost in the battle, never saw the war', no wonder they call Irony cruel.

Oh.I forgot to introduce myself...it should've been done earlier...but hell, I live upto my name to do things my own way...so who am I...I'm your friendly neighbourhood hero...Sorry for that, but this is a third person's view on me: (written by me...)that's an interestingly put paradox...! :)
"

Pushpak Bhandari is the writer of this blog. He is 17, but he thinks and acts like he is four. He put up a blog because He is too lazy to write his thoughts and daily ramblings in a dumb diary. He thinks typing is way easier and more enjoyable. He is an Indian, and he's proud to be one.

He loves his family and friends, and he can never live without them. According to some people who are close to him, he is materialistic. He does think he really is. But what can he say? That's life.

He reads like he will run out of reading materials. He sings like he's in the shower. He dances like nobody sees him. He plays like the world is his playground. He talks like there's no tomorrow. He listens like he has 40 ears. He eats like a truck driver. he laughs like he's going to lose his belly. He writes like his works are going to get published. He draws and paints like Picasso's toes. He acts like a rockstar. He thinks like he's a genius. He lives like he's never been hurt. And for all that, he is wonderful.

He loves movies. He watches TV all the time. He also watches cartoons. He doesn't care if he's watching a bad or good show/movie. He believes he has his own taste, which differs from yours or anyone else's.

A certified music sucker. He wants to own all the CDs in the world. But he doesn't buy. He wonders if that makes him stupid.

He's been to paradise. And he won't tell you where it is.

He wants to go to a place where no one dares to go. Why? He just thinks it would be cool.

Is that cool? Watchathink? Well, it wouldn't matter. Because this is his space, his life, his blog. Oh, and he wants to say welcome.For complaints about his stupidity-slash-brilliance, kill(er, write) him here.

"

Why I like Coldplay so much?

The most amazin thing in this world is some coldplay by Coldplay...the mellow guitar and piano is simply fab, falllin into the same category is Keane...God, I wish I get broadband as soon as possible...Its been a year since I've applied for it but have been lazy in keeping in touch with the techies at BSNL. I dream of a downloadin spree of some of the most amazin songs..Wish it comes true...What else I dream of? I dream of MTV helpin me Pimp my Ride! How about a pimped up Activa with some color splurge....I could do with a ps3 and some cool wheels...and umm...West Coast Customs shadin it up to some cooler color than the borin silver... Dreams apart, I've been readin Salman Rushdie's Midnights Children (or attemptin 2) ...cse its just so not for me yet...Ithought i was ready for some high end stuff but it's still not meant for me....I'm better of with love, spies, and ofcourse....Fredrick Forsyth which is a recent discovery like Coldplay...Seems happenin! I have finally come out of a phase where ive read some really really crappy books like 'How Opal Mehta wrote some crap..'I mean its like an Indian guy/gal wakin up one fine mornin and attempt to write some serious blockbuster book, and guess what? Its a hit! I mean the character doesn't have any depth, its practically trashier than an 8 year old's diary...I could read only 7 pages from her book...Then came along Mario Puzo's Dark Arena whose story of Russia (again!) is so bloody (uuuuh...I'm so scared) that it seems less of a book and more of a dark side of man kinda story...Again crappy ( I write better !) So I have finally put my hands on some good set of books from old friends and new...So lets see how this new set turns up...The social front seems pretty cool right now, been goin gud ;) Life seems good as of now but wish there was more of socialisin....But But as Coldplay puts it..

Confusion never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks (gonna)
Come back and take you home, I could not stop, that you now know (singing)
Come out upon my seas, curse missed opportunities (am I)
A part of the cure, or am I part of the disease (singing)

Keane-Everybody's Changin'

Acting on popular request (screams and abuses hurled thick and thin towards me),today marks a phase in blogging where I move from writing about the rest of the world to just ME. Enough of writing about Israel and Alaska! Let Bush worry about them. I have deleted those posts and I'm gonna write just about guess what? .... ME! . For eg: my best song currently is clocks and My december. See, im opening up...! Anyways,let me get used to this new setup and from tomorrow, this blog has been re-christened from "the crap of the world which I don't understand" to "Me, Myself and Pushpak" Doesn't that sound like some Jim Carrey movie?
And to tell you more, I think Kramer's the coolest punk around. Kramer for President!

Fountainhead

The book which changed lakhs of peoples lives and continues to do so, seems to have changed mine to. Never have I been so influenced by something or you can call motivated. I was scared at the change I saw in myself after reading it which scared me a lot. This could'nt happen. I've always trashed out such stuff before. But the command this book has is amazing. More amazing is the philosophy it preaches which makes you want to be like Howard Roark.
Ayn Rand's story of Howard Roark, a brilliant architect who dares to stand alone against the hostility of second-hand soulswas first published in 1943. This best-selling novel is a passionate defense of individualism and presents an exalted view of man's creative potential.The Fountainhead examines the life of an idealistic young architect, Howard Roark, who prefers to struggle in obscurity rather than compromise his artistic and personal vision by pandering to the prevailing taste in building design. Read the entire plot here.

Astalavista...

College's going good, but what seemed missing was the fun n' frolick from St. Vincents....its such an unnatural feeling that there isn't a school to look forward to going to first day in the morning...! And there seems to be more change. I'll be moving into a new house and theres a feeling I get each passing day of more change heading towards me...Like Keanes song goes...

Keane-Everybody's Changing Lyrics

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

Ooo...
Everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

Coup de grace

Finally, some hope after a long time! I'm finally going to a co-ed Institution for the
first time in my entire entire life...I just got a college which I wanted, not in terms of crowd but strictly "higher education" ! They say its like another four years of schooling but hey...I'm used to that..!Lets see how my first day in a coed is. Will let you know...Adios!

(P.S: I haven't forgotten the ambigram post)

How Left Are The Left?

Well, the other day I was visiting this college and decided to take a peek into what the classrooms were like. As I took a seat into what the college claimed in its brochure "Ergonomic" chairs, I found out that being a lefty, this right hand side flap seat would mean a helluva lot of problem for me. Then I came upon this article, which left me completely blown off, and I began to pity myself for what the world has doled out to me…. Ok whatever.

Well, it says that approximately 8–15% of the adult population is left-handed and usually associated with several neurological disorders (epilepsy, Down’s Syndrome, autism, mental retardation, etc.) There’s no conclusive evidence suggesting why a bloke turns into a south-paw but the reasons vary right from the Romans sayin that they are the more gifted lot by God as they are an advantage in combat as by holding the shield in your left hand you are at an advantage to the more clinical reason of it!

Lefty’s often face problems like being forced to use special "lefty" scissors, writing from left to right, so that our hand smears the fresh ink across the page. (Righties' hands do not touch the ink until they get to the next line, so the ink has a few seconds to dry!), bumping elbows at the dinner table, computer mice etcetera etcetera!
But did you know that scientists now link Homosexuality to left-handedness! Well, I think that that’s a bit too far-fetched cause in general; people haven’t been too kind to the southpaws right through ages. Considering that we say “taking the right path in life” or that “it will be all right in the end!” as against being "left out", having "two left-feet" or "a left-handed compliment" (one that is not really meant!). The Latin word for right is Dexter meaning clever while its Sinister for the left meaning devilish or evil! This extends to almost all languages!
Well, after reading this article, hope you have some sympathy towards the southpaws in our society and apologize to one if he/she bumps into you somewhere henceforth!

26 Things To Do Before You Die…

I was watching 'Fight Club' recently and a certain scene got me thinking. When Brad Pitt is driving, or not driving, along the freeway he turns to the two guys in the back and asks "Guys, what do you wish you had done before you die?"
I have a list for you to do( give it a try ;) ), a list I couldn't narrow down because it would mean not doing some of the things..So here it is...

A… AC-DC…not active current direct current or whatever you fools…the band ac-dc…. watch them perform live…except that they’re…uhumm..I think they are already dead…anyways lets cut that out and try something else..(Sorry for the bad narrating)
OK back to the list for A…Ask someone you've only just met to go on a date.
B…Beat yourself up in front of your Boss alone in his cabin and claim that he assaulted you…then claim for compensation like in Fight Club…

C…Cry endlessly and tell someone the story of your life sparing no details
D… Learn to ballroom Dance and do it in the local Ganpati festi
E…Extra…Be an extra in a B-Grade movie.

F… Fart in a crowded space
G…Grow a beard and leave it for at least a month.
H…Hips…Yes, Get an opportunity and watch Shakira perform “Hips don’t lie” live…She got by far the most exciting hip in sports-entertainment history…. ok whatever.





I…Improve the looks of our city by pasting Bon Jovi Have A Nice Day Smirk Posters all around the city like PMT Buses, Rickshaw Auto, etcetra etcetra






J…Join the Fortune 500 list
K…be the first to give a gay KISS on Indian television…
L…Make your own LIST

M…Men. Behave like superman for a day or two. Wear red undies over a tight blue costume and run around the city…Even Spiderman or Batman will do…And for all female readers…try Superwoman or Spiderwoman or Batwoman…I personally advise Xena Warrior Princess ;)

N…Never say Never in your life…(oops!)
O…Observe a minutes silence for Sourav Ganguly
P…Pooja, Put up a large size photo frame of yours in your room or in your office and worship it 2 times a day with incense and coconut…/Pee on a Police car

Q…Quit Smoking
R…Run a Marathon like yesteryears actor actresses-exxxxxxtreeemly slowly with hands moving in a circle
S…Stop cribbing about reservations…enough of it…(And no phattu*(friend of mine)…you cannot have reservations while giving compensation to the Mumbai blast victims)

T…throw your 56k modem through the wall (get dsl)-throw your head through the wall
U…Unchange your clothes inside a waterfall!
V…Vvvvv…uholdemort…. Find “He Who Should Not Be Bitched About” and call him any of the following things.

W…Write your will

X…Xercise yourself to become Jean Claude Van Damme or “Basti ka John”
Y…Yank off the Election Victory speech from the hands of the President of some big nation and die in the following crossfire…Amen!

Z… Zinedine Zidane…Watch him play…. If you are thinking what Matterazi said that pissed Zidane off…. Here’s my version apart from the “ Zidane hum chlormint kyon khate hain”…. Maybe Matterazi called him a Pakistani…that’s what I call my brother…Incidentally he’s working on a reactor in the US which he says is purely Chemical Engineering related (P.S: Don’t tell anyone…He’s working on a Nuclear Reactor which is a kinda thing used to make Nuclear bombs…It’s a highly confidential top security assignment given to him by Bush himself…I think its gonna be used against Pakistan)
(P.P.S: I apologize to my Pakistani readers (if there are any) for the Zidane thing and also that my brother ain’t no working on any nuke reactor…. Sorry to Bush sahib, He knows why..)